Jen Hatmaker and the Power of De-Conversion Stories

Many evangelicals believe what they believe not because they are backwater bucolic yokels scared to press hard on the biblical text, but precisely because they have engaged the text and are persuaded it teaches these truths. - Mike Kruger

There are actually two articles to explore here. The first is an older piece from Michael Kruger on the Jen Hatmaker de-conversion story. He breaks it down into a simplistic de-conversion playbook that everyone who falls away must have read, studied, and implemented to a "T." 

De-conversion stories are powerful and aimed at two distinct audiences. First, they seek to bring along every struggling believer that the de-converter can influence. It puts church and the Christian belief in a paper bag, sticks a lable on it (something like "rubbish"), and then deposits it in a trash receptacle. The second audience are people who have already left the faith, or are trying to find arguments why they should continue in their unbelief. To them, these stories provide the experiental evidence they desire. Although the evidence is unreliable when pitted against the deep claims of the entirety of Christian belief and doctrine, it is wrapped up in shiny bows and ribbons and sold as truth. 

You can access Michael Kruger's article by clicking --> here <--

The second article is a more recent review of Hatmaker's book about her de-conversion. Winfree Brisley looks at how Jen Hatmaker's story is an exemplar of women who have recently left the church at a more rapid rate then men. You can access this review on the Gospel Coalition's website by clicking --> here <--

Here are Krueger's 5 predictable steps in every de-conversion with (1) my own reflections on each, and (2) excerpts from Winfree Brisley's book review:

Step 1: Recount the Negatives of Your Fundamentalist Past. They will point out every offense, real or imagined, that they suffered at the hands of Christians in the church.  If the de-converter can find villians, then they can pillorize them and hold them up as both a straw man and a rallying cry! What they miss is their own actions, their own lack of honest discourse, and the ungraciousness that they may have held while claiming Christianity. Imperfect Christians will forgive the backslider, but the backslider cannot find it in themselves to treat the Christian with love, peace, grace, and forgiveness.

As Samuel James has observed, this is a growing trend: “When someone talks about why they’ve changed their convictions about something, they increasingly will refer to negative experiences more often than persuasive arguments. . . . It’s hard to separate personalities from doctrines, to stay committed to convictions even when others holding those convictions behave badly.”

Step 2: Position Yourself as the Offended Party Who Bravely Fought the Establishment. This is the shrowd of the "misunderstood victim hero." I have seen this in business settings while dealing with personnel conflicts. The one who offends either their boss or others in authority will dig their heels in and, instead of reacting in repentence, they proudly justify their errant position. To them, they are the only one - or one of a minority - who truly understand the situation. Everyone else is "clearly mistaken." This position briefs well to those who do not know the whole story, and is effective in the realm of Christian un-belief by reinforcing existing biases against God.

But in many cases, the doctrinal shift comes after a negative experience within the church. Changes in theology may become a justification for leaving, but they aren’t necessarily the root cause.

Hatmaker concludes,"The one who will never quit is me. The one who will never lie to me is me. The one who will always love me is me. The one who will always protect me is me. The one who will always choose me is me." (298)

Step 3: Portray Your Opponents as Overly Dogmatic While You Are Just a Seeker. The funny thing about those who ridicule Christians for believing in absolute truth (the truth of the Word of God), also believe in absolute truth. Theirs is just a truth that opposes the Bible. However, they will always portray themselves as "free thinkers," and honest seekers.

Yet, as Bob Dylan sang so long ago, "You're gonna have to serve somebody." The free thinker and seeker are looking for what?  Truth. And in their misguided quest, they embrace presupposotional truths that fuel them along the way. They do this all while rejecting the truth in the Bible - sticking it in a paper bag, labeling it "dogma," and removing it from consideration in their journey. If you can lable something with a stinky-sounding word, then it is easier to dispose of it and attack its memory without honelstly considering it's underlying claims.

Near the end of the memoir, as she discusses an experience of feeling lonely, Hatmaker writes, “Because my therapist is now the narrator of my inside voice, I am wondering if I might consider this feeling a tiny victory” (235). That’s a revealing statement: Her therapist is the narrator of her inside voice.

Step 4: Insist Your New Theology Is Driven by the Bible and Is Not a Rejection of It. This is merely a ploy to attempt retaining the good things that the church brings without embracing the essence of the church - Jesus Christ as revealed in real history and in God's Word. In doing this, we see lament by the one leaving the church. You can imagine the rending of their heart as they throw away a loving but imperfect fellowship striving for truth, exchanging it for a chaotic association of imperfect people who are blind to their actual footing in this world. If you read de-conversion stories, this is their greatest struggle - leaving the community of believers who love them.

The Christian worldview says our greatest problem is our own sin, while acknowledging how the sin of others affects us and ultimately pointing us to Christ, who saves us and redeems our stories. The therapy-culture worldview says our greatest problem is other people’s sin, while pointing us to our own inner goodness and power that we can draw on to rewrite our stories.

Step 5: Attack the Character of Your Old Group and Uplift the Character of Your New Group. 

As Ian Harber explains, “Therapy has become the new confession, self-affirming mantras have replaced prayers, communities with the same diagnosis have supplanted church groups, and self-actualization has taken the place of salvation.”

In this final step, the de-converter white-washes the giddiness of his/her new group, and sweeps their brokenheartedness under the rug for noone to see. To be certain, there is earthly, fleshly, and emotional highs from living to the flesh instead of following the narrow road of biblical sanctification. However, over time, it fades. When it fades, there is nothing there. Nothing, that is, except a loving Savior who is always willing to forgive the one who repents and places their trust in him alone. 

Pray for the de-converters you know. Pray for them to see the One standing there with his arms wide open to forgive. Arms that were once streached upon the crossbeams of the cross, where he paid the penalty of their rebellion.