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When we are saved, we are radically changed. Not only are we born a second time (John 3:3) and we become new creatures (2 Cor 5:17), but we have a new family. We don’t say good-bye to dear Aunt Louise and Uncle Lamar– we will still see them and share stories at Thanksgiving. Instead, we gain an additional and truer family.

And his mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. And a crowd was sitting around him, and they said to him, “Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.” And he answered them, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking about at those who sat around him, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35 ESV)

John’s Family

The Apostle John frames the relationship between he and his family in Christ by addressing them as fathers, young men, and little children. (1 John 2:12-14) The fathers are those who are mature in the faith. They have parental responsibilities toward younger believers in the church. Those who he calls young men represent those who are young in the faith. Little children are those who are new to the faith.

The church parents, like natural parents, have teaching, training, and nurturing responsibilities to all children in the house. The older children also have responsibilities around the house – commensurate with their age – for the welfare of the younger ones. The little children are the ultimate recipients – yet they are expected to mature into older children and eventually become parents themselves.

The Disciple’s Family

Jesus frames this relationship by using the word disciple. (Matt 28:19-20) When we think of either being or making disciples, our minds tend to create a mental construct that assumes a church discipleship program. We may even see it as the church’s responsibility. Perhaps the church should be solely responsible for disciplship by giving us programs for our growth. If that is all there is to it, then we fulfil the Great Commission by bringing visitors to church who can be transformed and discipled by the system that our church has on hand.

However, there is a second level to discipleship. This level is the responsibility of those who are senior in biblical maturity. They are to care, personally and familiarly, under the proper authority, for the souls and the growth of the younger members of God’s family. We are all called to be a good family, working under good leadership, loving one another out of a heart for the gospel and our heavenly Father.

This level of responsibility is present whether the church has programs for formal education, biblical depth, or spiritual growth. Different churches have different discipleship and training capacities, just like different families have differing monetary means and capabilities. Larger churches have programs for discipleship that will thrill the senses and fill the heart. Smaller churches struggle to field a single group Bible study for their members to enjoy.

What the small church has, though, is a clear sense of this second level of discipleship – that of older family taking care of the younger family. It may be all that they have. In larger churches, the glitz of fancy (and often expensive) discipleship programs can blind the member to this second level of responsibility. Great programs can swallow individual responsibility. They can produce educated introverts or a wall of self-congratulatory graduation certificates. If the programs do not create a heart’s desire to connect along this second level of discipleship, then they have only partially succeeded.

“Discipleship is helping others love the One we love, who first loved us.” – Aaron Armstrong

A  healthy church needs to promote both levels of discipleship. The church must have an intentional plan, approach, and vision for creating, feeding, and maturing disciples. They must also develop members who have the heart for others and who engage in informal relationships for the purpose of maturity in God’s Word.

It is with this understanding of second level family discipleship that I will endeavor to write a series of articles addressing our responsibility to love those who are weak or new in the faith – those who need personal protection, feeding, nurture, care, and encouragement toward growth.